As coaches and leaders, we know that the environment in which organisations and teams are required to function is one of rapid and continuous change with unprecedented ambiguity, uncertainty and complexity. With the pressure they are under, it is little wonder that most teams are biased toward delivery and functional performance to the extent that they marginalise relationship in the team.
Yet we know that human relationship systems form the fabric of every aspect of human society. Furthermore, neuroscience shows us that because humans are social and relational creatures, characteristics such as engagement, commitment and productivity are directly associated with feelings of safety, belonging and positivity.
It follows then, that leaders and teams navigating workspaces today need a set of tools, skills and competencies to enhance positivity, engagement and unlock the diversity and collective intelligence that sits within these teams. Relationship Systems Coaching (RSC) facilitates the achievement of these outcomes.
RSC creates awareness of the systemic impact we have on one another. By becoming more conscious of these interactions, of what works and what doesn’t, we can become more intentional in how we engage with others in order to work toward a more meaningful and beneficial outcome for all of those involved.
A New Type of Intelligence
Working from a relationship systems perspective involves redirecting focus from the individuals in the team to the team system itself. This implies a shift in awareness from “I” to “we” and from “me” to “us”, a “completely different way of approaching leadership and team interactions” (Rød and Fridjhon, 2016: xii).
Relationship System Intelligence™ (RSI) includes and builds on emotional and social Intelligence as these intelligences have been presented and described by Daniel Goleman. Emotional intelligence is a focus on self, and requires self-awareness to understand one’s own emotions and experiences. Social intelligence adds the awareness of other people in order to understand and empathise with their emotions and experiences. RSI™ includes both. It is an awareness of, and focus on, the relationship system that holds experiences of all the individuals within the system – as expressions of each team member’s personal experience, as well as an expression of that team system thus becoming possible signposts of that particular system’s needs, insights and aspirations.
When leaders and team members understand this, it allows us to engage with them in a way that fully embraces the team’s diversity and taps into its inherent creativity and wisdom. In turn, this increases awareness, expands possibilities, and places the relationship system and its members on a more solid basis for alignment and collaboration to move the team forward.
Implementing Relationship Systems Coaching
Before engaging in any type of RSC we need to create sufficient safety to engage the team. An element of this is initiated through establishing a relationship of trust with the team leader and its members before the team coaching even begins. If possible, particularly in instances of high levels of conflict or dysfunction in a team system, a qualitative or quantitative diagnostic is conducted. In addition to building relationship this process provides the coach with a clearer and more comprehensive picture of aspirations and challenges within the team which informs the agenda for the team coaching process.
At the start of the team coaching engagement a ‘designed team alliance’ or team agreement is crafted where the team is invited to share expectations and needs, and create agreements that will enable members to work together in right relationship. Central to this is a level of co-responsibility and shared commitment.
Throughout the coaching, the more we point team members’ attention to the team’s collective aspirations, needs and agenda, the more easily they can access the wisdom and insights of their team entity. This is the practical shifting from “I” to “we”. The relationship system or ‘team’ or ‘relationship entity’ is a dynamic force that is created between the individuals in the team. Although intangible, we know it is there because we can ‘feel’ it. In RSC we assist the team to check-in with this team entity explore what it reveals which is frequently new information that enables the team as a whole to optimise its resources, creativity and intelligence.
As we work, we seek the most comprehensive picture possible, the most accurate expression of the reality experienced by that relationship system at that point in time, and in so doing we focus on ‘hearing all the voices’, even the less popular ones. Although all voices are not equal in status or importance in a given situation, the more voices we hear, the more information will be available to the team. Sometimes a leader hears only voices that agree with their own view. If disagreeing voices are not heard, and silence is taken as acceptance of what is being discussed, the potency of the collective wisdom is diminished. We each own part of the truth, no one is able to see whole picture, and this is why we rely on hearing the voices, and respecting the insights each bring.
Each relationship system is unique. What works in one may not work as well in another. As team coaches, our work with any team is underpinned by some key ideas. Firstly, we hold that each relationship system is naturally creative, intelligent, generative and resourceful. This means that the team system has all the answers, the role of the coach is to work with the team to access these. Secondly, we see leadership as a role that belongs to each member in the team, not only the functional leader. Therefore leadership cannot be abdicated to the functional leader. Thirdly, change is a constant process of evolution and it is thus our role as coaches to enable the team to identify the signals pointing to what change is needed so that the team can move toward their desired and required future state for best effect.
These key underpinnings influence the way we engage and can be useful in informing which specific tools and skills may best serve the team at any point in time, in order to move forward constructively and deepen understanding. Our capacity to work substantively with these basic concepts develops as we gain experience in this work.
RSC, and the RSI that lies at its core, open up unique and courageous ways for leaders and teams to engage. Ways that embrace and thrive on diversity and difference and the possibilities these present in teams that are willing to do the work. To succeed, they require shared leadership, co-responsibility, co-accountability and co-creation. New leadership and team processes for a new era.
References
Rød, A., and Fridjhon, M. (2016). Creating Intelligent Teams: Leading with Relationship Systems Intelligence. Johannesburg: Knowres.
This article is, in part, and extract from Schneier, C., and Rod, A. (2019) Relationship Systems Coaching. In Stout-Rostron, S (ed) Transformational Coaching to Lead Culturally Diverse Teams, pp 102 – 118. Oxon: Routledge.